Kole's indescribable

I want that hate and resentment you feel
I want the bone crushing love that comes before it
I want myself to quit acting desperate, though I’m not
I want to enjoy
I want to remember
I want the dream I had of you to be real life
flat on the ground
covered in black and
breathing softly
I shook
repulsed almost
and that makes me curious
assured, however
that you will never leave that place
beneath my skin
through my fat
next to my bones
within my heart

I am clean sheets, and big pillows
I am small things, and sunlight
I am here…
…
…
…
…
…
still.